不是不孝 只是我的心已经麻木了

I don't know how to do to make you satisfied! Like this also cannot like that also cannot. So what if your my mother, everybody have their human right. If what your saying is right, i wont even care to utter a word with you. But if it's not, then i have to rebutt! Fair enough? /in your eyes what kind of daughter am I ? Why you can be so unreasonable and fking make all people don't like you! It's not that i'm cold blooded now, its because I'm numb already/ everything. numb for everything. Everything that u make me so loathe. I don't wanna talk to you or see you! I disappoint you, you disppoint me too. I hate this family to the core! Better chase me out asap, i cant wait to leave this house of hell! bye! fking no mood this few days! everything just screwed up. And I'm so tired. I miss my dad. But i can't & don't wanna go find him. whattF can i do? Helpless at all time...I cant& don't dare tell anyone my fear. typing down all this stuff for what, make me feel better? But if i dun release it out somewhere, i think i'm gonna break down soon.